Demon and Savior

[repost from http://domesticateddamsel.blogspot.com/ on June 30, 2016]

In my career as a birth doula, I have had the opportunity to encapsulate roughly 100 placentas.

It's a process I cherish and feel to my core. But, I decided that I should probably hire someone to encapsulate mine so that I would have one less stressor in the newborn haze. I sought out a sister doula and spoke with her about it but never got around to actually completing the contract. Something always distracted me, sleep, nesting, eating, reading, feeling like I still had plenty of time.

Like my second pregnancy, I had been having contractions at very regular intervals for several weeks but Friday, when I woke up feel like these were of a different variety, I told myself that I'd do it today.
But then Friday became Saturday and as we were driving to the hospital, I realized I still had not officially hired her.

Some how, I didn't find myself stressing about what could have been (which is rare since my head is always, always over thinking). I'm sure I could have called her Sunday morning and she would have come anyway. Instead, I birthed our baby girl and sent my placenta home with my mother to wait in her freezer for me to be ready.

As I opened the bucket tonight, I immediately felt the force of the anomaly of preparing my own placenta. I wondered if I would come to face my demon. See, this time HG (Hyperemesis Gravidarum) wasn't enough. I also developed a massive sub chorionic hemorrhage that because of it's size and location, had the potential to cause placenta abruption and early delivery. This giant blood clot became my demon, my battle to fight in defense of both myself and our unborn baby.

We had told the baby catcher we wanted to see the beast who's held me hostage the last 14 weeks. Sadly, he was unable to locate it at the time.

But there it sat. Right on top as I lifted my organ out of the bucket. I called my husband in to see it. We stood staring at it in my hand for a few moments together. He put his hand reassuringly on my back and grounded me in the way only he can. And then he left because BLOOD.

As I held my little demon in my hand, just half of it's original size, I was overcome by emotion. This little thing made our life hell. It scared us at 25 weeks and was nearly the cause of an emergency cesarean. It kept me in bed and made me unable to care for our Little Monsters for MONTHS. It is the cause of so many tears, feelings of inadequacy, and the stress of many who had to step in and take over my role.

How many of us can say we have literally held our demons in our hand? I got to curse at it and sob over it. I got to grieve for what could of been and then stare it down and declare my independence from it. It is no longer in control. I get to choose to let this moment heal me.

And then, I began to examine my placenta and begin my ritual. I am astounded at the size and density of it. Some how, despite the demon dwelling on it, it managed to remain healthy and strong and absolutely beautiful! Half me and half my husband, this is the savior of our beautiful baby girl we so gravely feared loosing for so long! It's strength is undeniable and stunning.

Part of my process is to pray over and thank the organ for it's work and the life it sustained. I try to infuse each one with love and strength for the woman who will use it's nutrients to restore her battle weary body (because pregnancy and birth are always a battle).
How am I, who sees so clearly all my flaws, faults, struggles, and damage, to speak  praise and love for the woman who grew this beautiful organ and baby? How am I to see good and beauty in my gestation when I've felt so broken in the process?

Self love has never been my strong suit but I stood over this savior and felt it's glow deep in my chest. It sustained and supported my sweet daughter who is fast asleep in our bed. It deserves to hear praise for that and for the work it has yet to do. It will help my body find its balance once more.

Tonight, I stand in awe of my demon, my baby's savior, and my body who grew both and gave me a most precious miracle.

MCMP

In the beginning of January, I attended the first MommyCon Mini conference that was held at the Flamingo in Las Vegas.

There was Toddler/Baby Yoga, Prenatal dance, cloth diapering class, presentations by Alyssa the carseat lady, Jessica, Creator of The Leaky Boob, and Jamie The Baby Guy!

It was a seriously awesome day for all things mommy, baby, and fun.

Very soon, there will be a MommyCon Mini here in Phoenix. And I think all you pregnant, new, or seasoned mommas should attend!

Visit MommyCon's site for more info! http://mommy-con.com/event-registration/?ee=4

HG

Recently there's been a lot of talk in the media about Kate Middleton and her pregnancy. More specifically, teasing or making light of her "just a little morning sickness."

Only, Kate doesn't have morning sickness. She suffers from hyperemesis gravidarum which is a vastly different thing.

Most widely known of, the women of The View laugh about, and wave off, the Duchess's sickness as no big deal and nothing serious.

helpher.org is pretty much the best resource available to mothers, their families, and physicians.

HG is not just 12 or so weeks of some nausea with the occasional vomiting. HG can extend past 21 weeks and in many cases the entire pregnancy. It is marked by rapid and severe weight loss, extreme fatigue, acid erosion of the esophagus and stomach, and in the most severe cases can result in infant and/or maternal death.

HG is nothing to joke about or laugh at. I am an HG sufferer. It is one of the more painful things I've experienced in my life. Luckily for me, my OBGYN was quick to intervene and my resulting weight loss was *just* 26 lbs at its peak. I went on to gain just 14 lbs in this last pregnancy and deliver a healthy 8lbs 2oz princess.

I wrote about my trials after only 8 days of having my zofran pump and wore it for another 9 weeks after this post at my personal blog, Domesticated Damsel. I did not write about it again, so the severity of the pain inflicted on my abdomen is barely glossed over. I should note that it was nearly 6 weeks after removal of the pump before my skin fully healed. But the pump was better that 12+ times per day and continuing to lose 7-10 pounds per week.

I hope that any of you who suffer HG will share your story as well.

Merry Christmas to all....

Merry Christmas to all Pregnant Mommas!

In honor of my dear Savior's birth and the spirit of giving, for the rest of 2012 I'm offering a discount to any mommas who choose me to attend their 2013 birth!

 

$150 off!

But wait! that's not all!!

I'm throwing in placental essence for FREE!

 



Please share with any mommas you know and contact me for details!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

xoxo,
The Lioness

FIRST!

This is my first official Lioness Birth Services blog post! ...please be kind, we (the blog and I) are a work in progress)

Next week, on Sept 20, I'll be hosting a premiere party for the new birth documentary "Freedom for Birth" by the organization One World Birth.
I'm super excited for this film and to help continue to spread birth awareness like "The Business of Being Born" and "Pregnant in America" have done.

The film tells the powerful story of Agnes Gereb, a Hungarian midwife

imprisoned for helping to give women choice in birth.

The film tells how a Hungarian mother,

Anna Ternovsky, who wanted a home

birth with Agnes, took her country to

the European Court of Human Rights

and won a landmark case which might

have changed the world!

Also in the film are over 40 of the world's

leading birth experts including:

Ina May Gaskin, Sheila Kitzinger,

Sarah Buckley, Robbie Davis-Floyd and Michel Odent.

 

Freedom for Birth Trailer

 

 

 If you would like more info or to attend please visit my facebook page or shoot me an email.

xoxo,

The Lioness